m!s$ uNdeRrSt0oD (crescenteve) wrote,
m!s$ uNdeRrSt0oD
crescenteve

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my doors are shutting....

...:[vEnTiNg]:...

for once in my life, i didnt want to say shit anymore...

how sad is that? you go out of your way just to get pissed off at me. with the things that i cant control and not entirely on me. you keep pointing your fingers at me forgetting to look at yourself in the mirror. at least i know that i fuck up sometimes and i admit to my wrongs. never in denial and apologetic...can you be those things?

in my days of knowing you, ive learned how it is to be the 50% that should make things work. but then again, in my days of knowing you...ive learned that im not that 50%, i make up at least 95% who is the only one trying and making an effort to make this shit work. i learned how to forgive and forget when it comes to other people and other things because of you...but when it comes to us...thats rather hard.

but yet, you think that you are entitled to persecute me because you are who you think you are. and you think that you can be the way you are to me cuz i actually do things for you and do things for the sake of us. you think you can just care today and then not care tomorrow cuz ive let you before...more than i can remember. you think that you can keep playing your stupid games, and think that it doesnt matter because ill always take it and be there tomorrow...

wrong! why should i stick around for more of this unecessary bullshit! ive bent over backwards for you. i sacrifice a hell of a lot for you. i put you before myself. you say that i shouldnt, well you give me no choice. because if i dont, im assed out with the shit you put me through. id rather think for you than for myself than be fed with your bullshit. the way i put that, i shouldnt even give a fuck about you anymore. but the fact that i know that theres a reason for all this and for all the work and effort ive done for the sake of us...i shouldnt give up now and still try my fucking hardest until i kick the bucket to make this work the way we both dream it to be.

so who the fuck is being selfish now? huh? do you even realize that youre a hypocrite? you are so self-absorbed that its sickening. you dont care about anything but yourself! you make up your own ways of happiness and throw me out there to be blamed and to suffer the consequences. this is what i think of you at this moment. if someone were shooting at us, youd use my body as a shield to save your own life. and when i die, youd cry your ass out and tell people..."she died to protect my life. she took a bullet for me..." thats whats going on right now. all this shit is going on, and with all the punishments and restrictions, guess whos ass is on the line here? guess whos sacrificing their own life? ME! not you! ME! just look at the things that you are able to...that i should be too...but im not. you didnt have to sacrifice anything! nothing at all! yet you expect me to do more and kiss your ass until eternity?! you have the fucking nerve!

you havent lost a fucking thing through out this whole situation and yet you expect to gain a shit load? people say no pain no gain. in our case...my pain your gain.

liar...hypocrite...trust you still? fuck that!
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